Danielle SullivanThe holiday season can be a joyful yet overwhelming time, especially for neurodivergent folks trying to stay resourced and regulated. For folks who are supporting other neurodivergent people, like children or partners, this period can be particularly challenging as it may require more co-regulation to help you all manage the holiday stress. Today, we’d like to offer some effective regulation tips to help you all stay calm and present during the holidays, so that you not only get through the holiday season in one piece, but you actually enjoy yourself!
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Regulation Tip: The Sacred Pause Technique
The sacred pause technique is attributed to Tara Brach, a well-known psychologist, meditation teacher, and author. This technique is meant to help us pause, breathe, and bring mindful awareness to our present experience, which can be particularly useful in managing stress and emotional regulation.
Taking a moment to pause and breathe can do wonders for your mental state. The sacred pause technique involves stopping whatever you’re doing, taking a deep breath, and allowing yourself a moment of stillness. This simple practice can help you calm down and reset, and can also help you provide a model of self-regulation for others around you.
Regulation Tip: Physical Stimming and Flapping
Engaging in physical activities like stimming or flapping can be a great way to release excess energy. These movements can help you feel more regulated and balanced, providing an outlet for any pent-up stress.
Encourage your people to engage in their preferred stimming activities to help them regulate their energy. Have a stim party, or take regular stim breaks during your day. Make a playlist for your stimming! Take 2 minutes or 20 – even a short stim break will be supportive.
You can also use tactile fidget tools like sliders, which can be an effective way to manage anxiety and stay focused. These tools provide a physical outlet for nervous energy, helping you stay grounded, and are often more accessible in public places, or when you’re with people where you don’t feel safe to flap. We recommend making yourself a small fidget basket or bin for each place you spend a lot of time like your car, office, home, or school.
Regulation Tip: Internal Mantras and Visualization Techniques
A mantra is a word, phrase, or sound repeated during meditation or prayer to aid concentration and focus. It originates from Sanskrit, where “man” means mind and “tra” means tool or instrument. Thus, a mantra can be considered a tool for the mind. Mantras can be used to help us enter a more regulated state, calm the mind, and connect with our inner selves. Mantras can also be used in daily life as affirmations to promote positive thinking and emotional regulation.
Using internal mantras, affirmations, or positive statements can be a powerful way to refocus and regulate your thoughts. Teaching your children and others to use positive affirmations can help them manage their own stress and emotions.
Mantras are highly personalized, but here are a couple of examples to get you thinking:
- I can do it badly. Perfect doesn’t exist.
- I am the kind of person who keeps trying.
- I can notice what’s going well.
- I own my life. I’m the boss. I decide.
Visualizing calming scenes can also help reduce stress. For example, you might imagine the feeling of being underwater – the weightlessness, the calming pressure, and the soothing colors. Or, perhaps you picture walking in a forest — fresh air blowing, birds singing, insects chirping. These personalized mental images can provide a sense of tranquility and help you stay centered. Guiding your children and friends through similar visualization exercises can help them find calm as well.
By incorporating these regulation tips into your daily routine, you can navigate the holiday season with greater ease and serenity. For parents of neurodivergent children, these practices can also serve as valuable co-regulation tools, helping your children manage their own stress and anxiety. Remember, it’s important to take care of yourself so that you can fully enjoy this special time with your loved ones.
