Sophia KHello hello, fellow neurodivergent holiday friends! It’s quickly becoming that time again, and I loathe to think about the never-ending to-dos to prepare for the winter holidays that are just around the corner. I know I can’t be the only one who thinks it feels like a rollercoaster ride. I mean, one minute the leaves are only outlined in red and the next minute it’s so cold that you’re wondering if you need three sweaters—but do they have to look so bulky?
I get it. But, don’t worry, I’ve got your back with some practical tips to help you navigate the festive season like a pro!
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What’s the deal with executive function?
Just in case this vocabulary is new to you, let’s chat about executive function. It’s like your brain’s command centre that helps you plan, focus, and juggle tasks. You know—all those things we totally excel at without needing any support in our current paradigm, we’re totes thriving (/sarcasm—tone tags are still a thing, right?).
Needless to say, these are the skills that we can sometimes feel like we’re trying to solve a Rubik’s cube while wearing an eye mask. During the holidays, it’s like that cube is also on fire! Common challenges can include:
- Time management (Where did the day go?)
- Organization (Wait, now where did I put that gift list!)
- Staying grounded (Great, now I’m overwhelmed—why are the lights so loud?)
- Task initiation (Okay, let’s just write the cards, that can’t be hard, right? Why am I just sitting here? O.M.G. It’s been 10 minutes, just start with ‘Dear’ and go from there. Wait, how do you spell ‘dear’ again? Okay, I’m going to have to Google this…Ooh, I wonder why we started letters with ‘dear’ anyway. Welp, I’m on Google, I might as well search it, otherwise I’d have to admit I double checked how to spell ‘dear’!)
- Flexibility (Pfft what is ADHD if not flexible? Wait, what? They want me there for what time? But I was going to do something else at that time at home in my jammies!)
See? I told you I get it.
Holiday hurdles and how to hop over them
While I won’t be able to predict all of the different challenges we might come up against this upcoming season, I’ve noted a few common ones with some suggestions that you can try. Take these as inspiration of ways you can navigate the winter holidays—before it rears its jingly head around the corner.
Routine Rollercoaster
The Challenge: Your comfy daily routine (or lack thereof) goes out the window during the holidays
The Solution: Create a visual holiday schedule that’s as colorful as you like! Use stickers, drawings, or even emojis to be creative and make it fun. Be sure to include elements of your regular routine to keep some familiarity where you can, and budget extra breathing time in case plans change.
For example:
- 8:00AM – Wake up and brush teeth (just like usual!)
- 9:00AM or 10:00AM – Holiday breakfast with the fam for 2 hours because Aunt Suzy can sure chat a lot (and if they’re not ready yet, I’ll read or take a quick walk to ground myself before breakfast—what a treat!)
- 11:00AM or 12:00PM – Quiet time to read or rest for prevention of sensory overload and/or overstimulation
…and so on. And remember: where people are running late or if plans change, feel free to slot in an activity that you can engage in during that time to prepare your senses before the event!
Speaking of Sensory Overload—
The Challenge: Bright lights, jolly jingles, and bustling crowds can be too much for our senses.
The Solution: Create a cozy “chill zone” at home that has all your favorites. Things like soft slippers, weighted blankets, soft lighting, and so on.
And be sure to pack a sensory survival kit for outings when your cozy zone might not be readily accessible. Your kit might include items like:
- Noise-cancelling headphones like the one I use (affiliate link) which also have a ‘transparency’ feature allowing me to hear loved ones, or noise filters like Loop;
- fidget toys or worry stones to keep those hands busy an that mind calm—and so you don’t have to hear your mom telling you that bouncing your leg is bad luck one more time;
- a comfort snack that is crunchy, chewy, or hard;
- or scent lockets with your favorite perfume for those moments where deep breathing would be really be helpful.
You can do something similar for social events by scripting, or festive feasts by bringing your own dish for a potluck, and even to make travelling more smooth by packing a comfort bag.
Gift-Giving Gridlock
The Challenge: The entire process of choosing, buying, and wrapping gifts is overwhelming.
The Solution: Gameify it. At the end of the day, we’re going to procrastinate something we get overwhelmed in doing. So why not procrastinate by setting up a game to organize who is getting a gift, what they’re getting, and how much you’re spending for them. Here’s an example:
- Create a spreadsheet with columns for the person, their interests or hobbies, your budget, and gift ideas;
- Set a timer and challenge yourself to find gifts online within that time;
- Use gift bags or fun-patterned duct tape instead of wrestling with wrapping paper.
Alternatively, I also found that sometimes I’ll see things throughout the years and think of someone it would be perfect for. I end up getting them at the time I see the item and check them off my list, and then hold onto it until the holiday season. Usually, by the time December rolls around, I’ve already got gifts for each person and all I need to do is wrap and send.
General life hacks that come in handy
Ultimately, there are life habits and practices that we can create and build that we could rely on during these tougher seasons. For instance, we can use our communication skills to clearly express our needs to our loved ones, or even help our neurotypical family members in learning how to communicate with us!
Similarly, it might be supportive to rely on setting realistic goals and go to one party instead of three. Or making self-care non-negotiable by making sure to schedule it like any other important appointments, and consider building in 10 minute break times just to reset the senses while you’re out if you can. Consider taking your coping mechanisms from the rest of the year and transfer it to the holidays.
Remember: you got this!
The holidays might be challenging, but you’re even more awesome because of exactly who you are. Embrace your unique way of experiencing the world, be kind to yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. With a little preparation and a lot of self-compassion, you can not only survive but thrive this holiday season.
You’re not alone!
Whether it’s strengthening your coping skills toolbox with support from one of our coaches, or starting by joining our Patreon community for year-round support, tips, and resources—Neurodiverging has a way to support you. Share your wins, get advice, and make some friends who get it.
